I really hope they have a version where the poster art is rotated 90 degrees, like they’re lying down.

Death is always getting pissy that medical science is going to them out of a job.

“Jupiter now has 69 moons.”

I am 100%, grade a certain that your mother is a wonderful person in all other respects.

“You leave my mom out of this, CLAM SAUCE” is now the name of my alt-punk-mariachi-sea-chantey fusion cover band. Royalty will be forthcoming.

BOOO!

It was about 3 am. I’m on my eighth cup of tea. The BBC cut to Maidenhead. I’m going dizzy trying to do the electoral maths in my head. Theresa May ghouls her way up to the podium. I do not see Lord Buckethead. The returning officer begins to read the results. One by one. And then I hear his name. Then I see him. Then…

Not since the cat helmet have I wanted something more than I do now.

Dear Sir: His glorious excellence Prince Ocha of Nigeria, cordially invites you to LagosFest, presented by American Super star Kylie Jenner this fall. Please kindly wire transfer $12,000 to Nigerian National Bank acct #19438489. $1M U.S. dollars will be transferred to your account upon arrival in Lagos. Only 292…

Do you want space vikings?! Because that how you get...hey wait, I want space vikings. Carry on.

Sweet platitudes you’ve got there Chad.

I expected so much more of Bloomberg reporters the head of communication for Juicero

Hemsworth is increasingly reminding me of Alec Baldwin - an actor Hollywood keeps wanting to put in dramas and action movies but seems to have a true gift with comedy.

As I said when Ghostbusters came out last year: Chris Hemsworth needs to let this action/drama thing go and focus strictly on comedy. A romcom with him and Anna Kendrick would have my money. Hell, I’d actually give Amy Schumer my money if he were the male lead.

What caused The Big Bang? What causes anything? It’ll make you go crosseyed.

You are wrooong! He is .... very, very, very good with the words.

Sounds like his voters elected somebody just like them.

He lacks the critical thinking skills to even figure out how words work. He is a complete fucking idiot.

Yeah maybe I’m a big dumb idiot but this video deals with defogging. Defrosting, which I deal with daily for several months up here in the north, definitely doesn’t work this way.

My experience, the best way to defrost your windshield is to start driving right away while you can’t see anything. Roll your window down…