Dunking is great because when you get up there and slam the potato into the goal you have a moment to wonder if your dad will ever really love you. He won’t and you have to get back on defense or you’ll be fired from the game by the Captain.

“the LA Lakers” “known for having players who are good at their jobs”

It’s simple, really.

1/2 situations in which Men use the toilet require the seat to be down (unless you shit standing up, which...is just impressive)

2/2 situations in which Women use the toilet require the seat to be down.

Therefore 3/4 times the toilet seat needs to be down.


edit: holy fuck people I’m not saying Men…

And we are already off to a FLYING start.

Go back to Goop, Pepper Potts.

An appropriate place to hold tampons tbh.

Yeah, but he wears a fanny-pack in 2016, so..............................................?

With the upside of potentially killing harlots?

because knocking people unconscious for no reason is dangerous

In an interview with NBC News on Monday, Gov. Pat McRory called criticism of the law “political theater.”

Then have fun with another generation of a conservative SCOTUS.

Yeah, things will explode but not in the ways you want them to.

Yeah, Susan, the idea is to progress without The Actual By God Blood-in-the-Streets Revolution. You want Trump picking some Supreme Court justices and pushing the entirety of progress back by a couple generations?

Dammit, Janet.

It might be time for the Mets to convert Harvey into a reliever.

Bernie doesn’t have any ego in this thing?Please. You couldn’t be a politician if you weren’t operating profoundly from the ego.

You do realize that d-bag jokes about Ferrari/BMW/Audi/etc owners do have some basis in reality, right?

Maybe because he plowed his car into the side of someone else’s car?

“You take an aspirin, I take an aspirin, it might give you extreme side effects of illness and your body … may reject it, where I would be fine. Of course, not everyone agrees. Some even object to calling horse tranquilizers ‘aspirin’.”

He makes a strong point. Everybody thinks Aspirin is harmless. But I remember one time I took an Aspirin and ended up driving erratically with briefcase with $29,000 in cash and a bunch of bottles of Aspirin. I was even charged with a DUI. They need to put a warning label on that stuff.