#alldisastersmatter

I had a husky. It ate shit. Good dog; bad breath.

What’s the sport coming to when a man can’t feel safe playing football?

Above the urinals at Progressive Field they have ads for pills that help make a curved penis straighter. I don’t know why but it seems relevant to the conversation at hand.

If Aroldis didn’t have some inkling he might have to get more than three outs in an elimination game, then he might be dumb enough to unload an entire handgun into a garage wall.

Rock you like a hurricocaine.

At least now we know why they thought they could smash through those rocks.

Pre-emptively saving us from this story tomorrow night:

I lost two nephews to alcoholism. But my son is in his third year of sobriety after his second stint at rehab.

College football’s clock rule is garbage, but college overtime and catch rule (1 foot) are far superior.

Do you even rivalry, bro?

Good to see that Tim Tebow isn’t the only one walking around with single A written all over him.

Results may vary.

Dennis Miller approves this comment.

“Look at that loser standing there with a bat on his shoulder. What a disaster. Dangerous, horrible looking person. And that moron with the mask and protective gear on. What the hell is he on about? Looks menacing. Probably celebrating a rape. Now he’s running toward that hero standing on the pitcher’s mound! Look…

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

The only thing I don’t like is that he’s dragging Bartman into this thing yet again. Let Bartman be, man.

Counterpoint: Free Beer

This is the nagging (sorry) problem I have with the drumbeat of “Believe Women”: yes, we need to get out of the habit of automatically disbelieving women who declare themselves to be the victim of rape, but at the same time we have a system of criminal justice that presumes innocence. I’d say that the presumption of…