(Why are both of your comments in parentheses?)

Well, when you add in how much of a douche Simmons is, it really is the most logical explanation

On that note, I live in Kansas City and didn’t notice this until last night but KC fans HATE Joe Buck. I’ve found two (ridiculous) reasons for this:

Of course, tobacco is still the deadliest substance mass consumed in America. Which is why weed is illegal. Makes sense, right?

And in today’s News That Shocks No One: Man That Beats Women Has Temper; Is Sore Loser

Exactly. I've never seen something that can go from so delicious to God-awful from just one ingredient

Unfrosted Pop Tarts are the fucking WORST!

I can't help but make the comparison to anti-vaxxers, although it's far smaller in the grand scope. It's always been morbidly fascinating, the things people will believe despite OVERWHELMING evidence to the contrary

I don’t think he means “mercurial” in the same way that you think he does. He's mercurial in the sense that he's a three-true-outcome guy. This is great when he's hitting a lot of homeruns (like the first half of the season) but when he slumps, he basically has no real value outside of his defense.

They could have at least had sex one last time

THANK you. They're like Boston fans. Fuck, I hate Boston fans

I don't understand this. If the NFL is such a never-ending PR machine, then why risk looking so callous when it comes to players just trying to honor loved ones?

I thought it was “wet-back”?

Oh and that's a play you make in your sleep, right?

So are you a huge Manziel supporter or something?

Balk, HBP, ground-rule double...

Chafee also whined about the questions being too hard

There's no way we can blow that again!

Maybe he.... wants to play next year...

Since apparently it's cool to root against the Cardinals, I hope they win it all