Your handle made me laugh harder than your comment

“it’s like Demeter celebrating Persephone’s return, all the more desperately wonderful and sweet for the bitter knowledge that it is temporary.”

That's some good-ass kinja right there

The UFC has all of the shameless money grabbing of the NFL with none of the self-righteous pretensions

This is under appreciated

Only after everybody else saw the video, of course

This is under appreciated

Now, I can’t math good, but doesn’t this guy’s math seem off to anybody else? $20K per game for 8 regular season home games is $160K. He would make $1.6M over that 10 year contract, but that's 80 regular season home games. Am I taking crazy pills?

Must be a Broncos fan. Or a Peyton fan posing as a Broncos fan. There sure are a lot of those

Fuck Jim Nantz

Is sissy-shaming really a thing? That's fucking stupid. I feel like those Twitter users just made up a bunch of bullshit terms to supplement their OUTRAGE!

I feel like Deadspin commenters (being super pretentious, as they are) would LOVE Dennis Miller

Get over yourself

They all look as pretentious as I always imagined they would

That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen

+1 for the attempt

You got that backwards. Lester tossed his glove to Rizzo

Nothing on the no-hitter tonight?

It’s nice when Deadspin takes a break from calling everyone racist and posting 12 straight articles about Deflategate to actually, you know, write about sports

Ok, I give up. So who the fuck SHOULD we vote for, then?