So Dana wants to compare against other professional (I assume he means MLS, MLB, NFL, NHL, etc.) sports? How much do other professional athletes make again?

This is appalling. A professional sports team doesn't have the resources to hire actual actors?

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Because Russia, more likely.

I’ve played goalie for 27 years, Ovie is the kinda shooter I check under my bed for at night there is just no reason that shot should be moving like that he barely moved his fucking arms!

Seems pretty petty of Emmit Smith to spend so much time on the Skins team site.

The weekend series against the Rays will be played at the Trop...

There is no way an NL team has a designated tweeter.

Does this look like a “coward of warfare”

Beat it deadspin. You beat it good.

Maybe Rodger Goodell is a sadomasochistic pervert?

Pittsburgh Native.

J Jonah Jameson: "Call your mom, call your dad. If you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call them."

Yes! I love their callbacks to previous bits. I can't remember how they did it but they even got one to Keegan's Coach character from MAD.

Also buried on WWE RAW? Cesaro, Dolph Ziggler, and Dean Ambrose.

Good white people? Really?

And in one swoop, Dan Snyder has done more for Native Americans than the entire Gawker (and co.) staff combined.

Nope, nobody; definitely not the 5 other people who posted Taaaaaakkkkeeee oooooooonnn meeeeeee.

Why? For your safety, of course. Europeans die by the squillions because of unsafe cars with metric speedos and no tire-pressure stickers or seat belt dingers. The streets are littered with their corpses. Do you want to die, Raph? Think of the children!

Sorry man. Next week I promise to write at least, like, six posts about how awesome it was that time a mediocre team beat a better team at home by not totally pissing away a 25-point lead.