Donald Trump cannot be trusted with a Twitter account, but feel free to entrust him your country.

When my mum was on her death bed - still smoking - I offered to buy her pot, because at least smoking that might ease her pain. (She declined.)

Yes, but you shorten it so the rhyming part of cockney rhyming slang may get a little lost if you’re unfamiliar with each expression. So you say butcher’s instead of butcher’s hook (look), whistle instead of whistle and flute (suit), and so on.

Judging by that tail, that is not a happy cat... although I wouldn’t blame the Duchess as much as the flash photography...

A happy ginger cat would look something like my Keith here:

E-Colitus Interruptus if your band’s into metal \m/

‘I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti’ takes on a whole new meaning here...

Watching my mother die a slow painful death from lung cancer was horrific, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I had quit 1.5yrs prior, and her illness and passing may have helped me stay off the cigarettes since, but weirdly the first few days after her death, while I was staying at the house where she had passed…

Everyone’s connected but some are more connected than others.

So… Bill the perv, Donald the perv, and now FBI through investigating Anthony the perv, could bring Hilary down. Possibly with a little help from Jules the perv.

Well.. I was at an event in London last Monday night where Patricia Quinn (Magenta in the original Rocky Horror) was a special guest. She’s mad as a box of frogs but delightfully so and now I can’t cheat on her by watching a remake, can I?

Trump will not win the election

“Yeah but so-and-so did worse” should have been left in the school playground. No amount of wrongs make a right.

So original, good on him!

Bill’s past seems to do Hilary’s career more damage than it ever did his own. That said, in any other circumstance I think it would be fair to ask Hilary about sticking with a cheating husband — but here, used by Trump in a bizarre attempt at whataboutery to deflect from his own (past) behaviour and (current?)…

Gif appeared in my vision in perfect sync to the music coming out of my radio... spooky

If Sasha and Malia are a reflection of their parents, and develop presidential ambitions, there is hope for future generations <3

If ever you wanted a FLOTUS to run for POTUS...

I don’t know, but it IS the reason J.K. Rowling is known as J.K. Rowling rather than Jo Rowling. It was a decision her publisher made on publishing the first Harry Potter book, before she & her work became so well known.

I quite fancy myself as a peace-loving liberal lefty type, but then I see another headline asserting that a woman who doesn’t have children must by default be a woman who is so agonisingly desperate to have children that anytime you see a picture of her, you must look at her and consider she may be expecting, because,…

Mary Berry to try out the space cake Martha and Snoop will be baking?