If they’d actually used the draft for the Iraq/Afghanistan war, it would have been over in a couple of months.

Why doesn’t any one ever put ecstasy in my bag?

We used to get it in powder form. You can snort it. It feels exactly like someone jamming a knitting needle into your brain thru your nose. And it tastes even more bitter than I am. Stick to tablets.

For an erection lasting more than 90 million years, please contact a medical doctor.

I’m sitting at work in SF, a half block away from “Super Bowl City”, which is like 40 miles from the Super Bowl Stadium. If you live in NoCal, you can’t escape it.

Apparently he has a huge schlong, which would explain both the initial fascination and the eventual leaving.

Well, gee, thanks for that insight. I guess you’ve put us all in our place.

“It’s not a very good song, is it?”

If I wanted to subject myself to a stream of dumbassery, I’d just take my earbuds out on the bus. I don’t need to see it printed out

TBH, I would go anywhere with Andre

No, Boys II Men were awful. AWFUL.

“It’s a good looking emoji...”

But they’re like “X-Men” in that some of them are not men

The only good thing about Arizona, besides the awesome natural beauty of the whole state, is that they don’t use Daylight Savings Time. I spent the first 18 years of my life there, and, after moving to CA, twice a year I’d be like “WTF are you doing with the time?”

zombie

Braff’s face is third only to Ted Cruz and Pharma Bro in punchability

I have a friend named Fillmore, after the street