We’re always telling our cats to find a job, waving the receipts in their little faces. They’re not even photogenic, so they can’t make a calendar or be internet stars.

The Armenian mafia is VERY scary and very real. Don’t cross the Kardashians, they will cut your hands and feet off!

I don’t know. I’m 50, and still haven’t gotten to “old enough to be chic”. Still just “old looking”

“I come home and someone’s occupying my house and they’re eating my food and then they’re taking the kids from my bed; they’re taking the money out of my pocket,”

I was embarrassed when this straight white guy was lauded for being “brave” enough to say gays should be allowed to love each other, long after the hardest part of the fight was done. I was embarrassed because “Downtown” was so fucking bad. I haven’t even heard this one. Fuck him.

I read Ricky’s tweet like you should yell out your second grade teacher’s name while getting fucked by Chris Meloni

Grease was the movie we went to on my very first date with a girl. We held hands, and were so afraid of letting go that by the end of the movie our hands were like 150˚ and dripping sweat. She looked kind of like Stockard Channing, too.

We’re talking about a group of people that gave Reese Witherspoon an Oscar for Walk the Line. They ain’t right in the head

Is it just me, or has Khloe turned into a massive kunt in the last couple of years?

why is your mom eating at mcdonalds?

*sigh*

burn

Eaten many minks, have we? Fox Fricassee? Lynx casserole? Chinchillas-in-a-blanket? Tiger ragout?

I don’t know, creating your own church and then having your wealthy-as-fuck daughters get tax breaks for “donating” designer clothes to your “church” is pretty fucked up. Maybe not “I wish you would die” fucked up, but more evil than “famous for doing nothing”, imo

When I was in elementary school, waaaaay back when a teacher could still make you say a prayer before you went to lunch (Mrs Dennis, third grade, Tucson, AZ), we had an anti-abortion speaker at our school. She talked about how Beethoven was deaf, but thankfully, his parents didn’t abort him (never explaining how they…

highly over-rated as a sexual position

I’d have to know any Creed lyrics first, and I am not willing to put any effort into that, so another fad passes me by

Conveniently forgetting that it was her party that continually voted to de-fund veteran’s care.

I’m partial to her cover of Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” on Halos and Horns

It’s only bad if an Obama does it