Apparently he has a huge schlong, which would explain both the initial fascination and the eventual leaving.

Well, gee, thanks for that insight. I guess you’ve put us all in our place.

“It’s not a very good song, is it?”

If I wanted to subject myself to a stream of dumbassery, I’d just take my earbuds out on the bus. I don’t need to see it printed out

TBH, I would go anywhere with Andre

No, Boys II Men were awful. AWFUL.

“It’s a good looking emoji...”

But they’re like “X-Men” in that some of them are not men

The only good thing about Arizona, besides the awesome natural beauty of the whole state, is that they don’t use Daylight Savings Time. I spent the first 18 years of my life there, and, after moving to CA, twice a year I’d be like “WTF are you doing with the time?”

zombie

Braff’s face is third only to Ted Cruz and Pharma Bro in punchability

I have a friend named Fillmore, after the street

We’re always telling our cats to find a job, waving the receipts in their little faces. They’re not even photogenic, so they can’t make a calendar or be internet stars.

The Armenian mafia is VERY scary and very real. Don’t cross the Kardashians, they will cut your hands and feet off!

I don’t know. I’m 50, and still haven’t gotten to “old enough to be chic”. Still just “old looking”

“I come home and someone’s occupying my house and they’re eating my food and then they’re taking the kids from my bed; they’re taking the money out of my pocket,”

I was embarrassed when this straight white guy was lauded for being “brave” enough to say gays should be allowed to love each other, long after the hardest part of the fight was done. I was embarrassed because “Downtown” was so fucking bad. I haven’t even heard this one. Fuck him.