I read Ricky’s tweet like you should yell out your second grade teacher’s name while getting fucked by Chris Meloni

Grease was the movie we went to on my very first date with a girl. We held hands, and were so afraid of letting go that by the end of the movie our hands were like 150˚ and dripping sweat. She looked kind of like Stockard Channing, too.

We’re talking about a group of people that gave Reese Witherspoon an Oscar for Walk the Line. They ain’t right in the head

Is it just me, or has Khloe turned into a massive kunt in the last couple of years?

why is your mom eating at mcdonalds?

*sigh*

burn

Eaten many minks, have we? Fox Fricassee? Lynx casserole? Chinchillas-in-a-blanket? Tiger ragout?

I don’t know, creating your own church and then having your wealthy-as-fuck daughters get tax breaks for “donating” designer clothes to your “church” is pretty fucked up. Maybe not “I wish you would die” fucked up, but more evil than “famous for doing nothing”, imo

When I was in elementary school, waaaaay back when a teacher could still make you say a prayer before you went to lunch (Mrs Dennis, third grade, Tucson, AZ), we had an anti-abortion speaker at our school. She talked about how Beethoven was deaf, but thankfully, his parents didn’t abort him (never explaining how they…

highly over-rated as a sexual position

I’d have to know any Creed lyrics first, and I am not willing to put any effort into that, so another fad passes me by

Conveniently forgetting that it was her party that continually voted to de-fund veteran’s care.

I’m partial to her cover of Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” on Halos and Horns

It’s only bad if an Obama does it

I came to it late, too. But you are not wrong - The Best

I know a lot of people hate him, but Selena is right. Chubby Jew boys are my jam

Shhh. Don’t speak, Zac

A lawyer and a vegan walk into a bar. I know, because they told everyone three times in the first five minutes.

white males do not get to talk about abortion or slavery, unless they are apologizing for being dicks