Yes, Chelsea Peretti. I grew up in Tucson. We never had a car with AC, and had swamp cooling in our house. AC is for pussies.

My ex used to bite me in his sleep. Usually on my shoulder, but arms, hands and face were not off the menu.

I read that as “Freeze Their Bacon, AKA Their Dicks”, and swear I shrank a little

mmm, yeah, they may be trash, but Black Sabbath was is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, great, but this is obviously for straight people. Where are the drag queens? Where are the transgender POC? We white guys already have Brokeback Mountain. Why not tell us the real story? About the real people?

“Deez Nuts haven’t had much exposure to the American public”

Then make high school PE fun for everyone! Being tall and gangly and four-eyed, I did not make the best athelete. The other kids let me know it, the teachers let me know it. “Go stand out in left field. No, waaaay the fuck out. And stay there until the bell rings”. I was 30 before I realized that sports was actually…

it’s lunch time, cassie, for god’s sake

Now THAT I would watch! I’d watch the shit out of it!

Why? Why must Americans be subjected to this shit for over an entire year? Why is the process so long, and why are Republicans so very, very stupid? Who decides that this shit is good for your image? It’s like Michele Bachmann eating corn dogs at every single county fair in the nation (disclaimer: I LOVE corn dogs).…

For all the hate it gets, Whole Foods is really not that bad in many respects. It’s a great place to work, the staff seems to be paid well and are always really cheerful, and where else is someone with full sleeve tattoos and facial piercings going to work besides a coffee shop (I mean, in another city than SF - us…

Really? Is it a full body wince, a subtle shudder, or just a grimace-type wince?

3 people and a potato

Viagra lowers your blood pressure (that’s why you shouldn’t use poppers with it - the more you know). Can low blood pressure lead to a stroke? Or was it the vigorous exercise of the act itself? “Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for sex”.

I love how he acts like he knows all the answers. You’re reading them off a card Trebek!

It would definitely be a case of “shhh, don’t speak” though

#safarichic. I have never had an opinion about Hudgens, but can now safely say that I hate her.

because Jesus, that’s why

The Holy Spirit wants to get all up in teenager’s junk? WTF, Holy Spirit! That’s not cool.

9 abortions and the tenth one’s free