Even if it is, they don’t call illegal screens anyway.

I know. I feel bad about it, too.

I should’ve warned you that even I don’t take myself seriously.

But is a burrito a sandwich?

In Soviet Russia, Bear intercept you!

-Russian Jay Cutler

Rousey went on to say that she wants her next fight to be a rematch with Holm.

Tan then immediately inquired into Adam Johnson’s availability.

Weird, opposite thing happened to me. I violently dumped my bag into the car, but I never wanted it back.

-Johnny Manziel

We would’ve also accepted “shat through my Zubaz”.

Bro, I’ve fought the same guy four times already, and it’s not even game time yet.

-Most Bills tailgate lots

Yeah, four makes sense. There’s no way anyone can give him five.

He choked up on the opposition’s late shift, slapped one out, then broke for home. What’s the problem?

See, this is why you have females-only parties.

If there’s anything Simmons is capable of, it’s trying the same thing over and over again until he gets the response he’s looking for.

A really big Chipotle burrito is more apt.

I know, it’s almost like the entire process is attempting to make caricatures of people taking themselves seriously, and the voices amplify the absurdity.

Smoking non-name-brand cigarettes.

Do you think it would have been successful if DFS had joined forces with other gaming lobbies to prevent the UIGEA from being passed, instead of trying to get a carve-out for themselves? Hindsight’s always 20/20, but given internet poker’s popularity (but lack of lobbying power) ten years ago, they could’ve had a…

How far can you punt a snowball?