This article is amazing on many levels. It’s full of anger, rage and resentment, which is what I come to Deadspin for. It’s mostly true (who really needs a Grand Canyon toilet brush)(kids are lazy, worthless, charger-stealing vermin who care about nothing but their own microscopic world) and it distills the American…

Hm...not sure if this analogy holds but until David Ortiz shows us in his last few at-bats he can hit a ball to left field, let’s bring the big shift. Hit it over the wall, okay...good for him, but it’s a defense against his weakness. Hack-A-Dude (seems to) exploit a player’s weakness (clanking FT’s) quite well. But…