I'm so old I've got eleven ideas for Dean Martin "Airport" jokes. I'm Writing them down on a cocktail napkin in the Lounge at the Sands.

I call you Laurence Olivier in "Sparticus".

The Old White Guy on the left will be a Noisy Pain In The Ass "HOW DO WE KNOW HE'S NOT ONE OF . . . THEM!?!" That kind of thing.

Somebody do a bit about Mark Wahlberg hollering about all the brave things he would have done if he had been on the Zombie Plane!

Somebody say it should have been an HBO Mini Series as if you are the very first person at the AV Club to assert such a thing!

Jody Foster's not in it, is she? With Sean Bean as the Grouchy Pilot?

Eh , well . . . It's 2015.

Okay.

Rub her toes!

Yeah, I don't see em fucking up What's-His-Face's name!

That's a good policy with most TV Shows.

I don't see you walking out of the House and walking around out there!

I didn't say anything about toes!

Oh, "Z Nation" is lousy. But it Stars this fantastic Black Woman and features a really hot young Asian chick. And some guys and a bunch of Zombies. Oh, and that goofy dude from "The New Guy".

Oh, nothing. The whole "Hillary's Gonna Be President!" thing is going along just fine! No problem!

Oh, okay. Don't want to about it, huh?

So why do you take her shit?

Oh, yeah, like your avatar pic is so cool!

Nobody seems to like that Show. I haven't seen it but I'm kinda bummed.

Make a joke ab out the faces in that other picture and get deleted.