I sit back and contemplate that these median obstacles are there to prevent injuries, and then imagine how much more spectacular that video could have been without them in place. The guy would have been approaching Mach 1 as he reached the bottom of the chute.

American... ahh... here we go...

Ya know, there’s a reason they put that stuff on the escalator median. If you can’t figure out what that reason is, you get what you deserve.

The comet mission is like your dad’s sound, practical, boring career advice while Titan is like seeing if you can follow your dreams and make it big on Broadway.

Dude, that’s what I’m asking. I don’t know! Aren’t we entitled to equal protection of the law? Wouldn’t that apply to enforcement and punishment too? I don’t know, but it fucking stinks.

Ow My Balls! It’s a TV show that will appear in the near future.

I’m giving you a star and then slowly backing away

You know who else has a Wikipedia page?

I’m going to let you in on a secret: the comments people leave on articles are often related to the article itself. I know, it’s shocking.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

Dude looks like the older version of a Rugrats character.

I find this tasteless joke offensive.

Football guy: “There has been a lot of false accusations levied against me that I’d like to address. One- yes, I did sexually assault a coworker. Two- no, I don’t wear makeup. I swear. Can’t prove it.”

Beginning to think the NFL stands for Not For Ladies.

How much do you like rats and other small rodents? Because snakes eat a lot of them.

What do you supply to the ecosystem?

get out of here, St. Patrick

READ :)

Because the comet one is dumb.