BJ Watt sucks.

I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool.

For every answer we put either “Steven Gerrard” or “The Beatles”.

We came second.

A Mitch Hedberg line is always worth a star, regardless of how relevant it is.

Counter-point: It’s not your property so don’t fucking touch it.

If not Everton go for Spurs, they are basically the same but based in London as opposed to Liverpool and thus give you more rivals to dislike. If Everton is the NFL’s version of the Chiefs, Spurs would probably be comparable to the Eagles- generally pretty good but famous for always coming up short compared to their…

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Consider Everton (full disclosure: my team). Always good enough to not get laughed out of the room, never good enough to develop a fanbase full of front-running steakheads. Solid history of being “the people’s club” and of employing those few Americans good enough to hack it in the EPL. So they’d be analogous to . . .…

Those windows stand up to Florida Man every day of the year.

The program should not have gotten the death penalty. The school should have shut it down voluntarily, because that’s how someone with a functioning moral center reacts to that kind of news.

The program should have gotten the death penalty.

“There are worse things than prioritizing football over the safety of children.”

Yeah, there’s just no history of Dele being rude or boneheaded. He’s just Not That Kind of Player.

Dele Alli was just helpfully reminding us all how many wins England will get in the World Cup before being eliminated.

This is the proudest I’ve ever been of the Jets.

Here’s hoping for the best with Berry. Not just because that would be a huge loss for the team, but he does seem like a cool dude who has already overcome so much.

That’s karma for that gaudy AF ceremony before kickoff where they sucked their own dicks dry like they were Steve Bannon

Bengals or Cowboys. They don’t have a problem with Pryors.

Calm your tits dude. Don’t get so personally offended by random comments online.

...Barcelona’s tug-of-war over Coutinho...

Great! Can we get a replay on this?