I have mixed feelings about this. I’m an advocate for voter registration reform; it’s entirely too difficult for people to vote as it is, and it’s clearly by design, if not always by malicious intent. There’s a plethora of ways to get people more involved in the voting process (if we can safely do our taxes online, we…

This is gonna look real bad if he turns out to be innocent.

So we’re body shaming video game characters now? Wonderful.

Wait a minute, is no going to mention what’s truly amazing about this trailer? DMX is back, baby!

I wonder if he’s self aware enough to realize how fucking hilarious it is that he submitted his calendar from 1982 (who the fuck keeps a calendar that long!?) as evidence that he didn’t try to rape someone?

Who exactly are the magical negroes who forgot that magical negro Donald Glover was in the Martian? Other than Matt Damon, he’s the actor that most people remember being in that movie.

I’ll grant that she’s incredibly good at her job as a provocateur, ala Milo, but her problem is that she seems to actually believe all the dumb shit she says, in a borderline religious fashion. I’m endlessly fascinated by people like her, she’s basically the Michael Moore of the alt-right.

Yes. Of course it was racism. It surely had nothing to do with the fact that the lady with the camera was being a cunt.

Thank you for noticing. I award you one (1) Interweb Point.

You have my erection.

YES YES YES!! Oh Tim, so many times YES! Don’t ever stop being yourself, you’re a star!

You say the nicest things! Your love and approval is all I’ve ever wanted, mom.

What! Who says you don’t have a sense of humour? I think you’re hilarious.

Too late, I’ve already pleasured myself to your disdain three times. Thrice, I say!

He should donate his penis to science. It’s the only ethical thing to do.

I had a cat, but he died. Now I have no cats. 

Touche, Captain Hindsight, touche.

Aren’t you a saucy lass?

My nickname is Jabba.

The space pope loves you.