Wait, this isn’t a Panda highlight?

yeah man. I go to a lot of games in SF. Those birds...they know when night games are supposed to end. They have this clapping noise they play over the PA that is supposed to drive the birds away. You can hear it above. It works kinda.

“You may have quit the game, Randy. But the game hasn’t quit you.”

Yeah man. It, like, hurts my ears. Setting aside blaspheming, it’s like saying “motherfucker” for no reason at all. It’s ugly and lazy. Just because this isn’t ESPN doesn’t mean it needs to be a potty mouth festival.

Question: Do you ever get tired of cranking out this hot take bullshit?

How dumb is that?

“It’s not a balk because he does it the same way every time.”

See, I was just thinking to myself. I says to myself, I says, “wow, it’s nice Deadspin just for ONCE decided not to blaspheme and went with a good ol’ “damn” and not “GD.”