Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

The first time I ever read Deadspin was the night before my brother died, almost exactly three years ago. He had cancer, and it was clear that he wouldn’t last much longer, so I told him he was the best brother anyone could ever ask for and I drove home and put my baby to sleep and opened up my laptop and found myself…

No doubt, the single greatest thing ever associated with Deadspin. Take a victory lap, internet.

“We like the way he gets to and hits the quarterback”

He’s just emphasizing the importance of a nuclear family.

“Ceci n’est pas un combat”

“One down, nobody on, bottom of the fifth here at Busch Stadium, as Deadspin Commenter steps up to the plate.”

“The Cardinal Way”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN IS KILLIN’ THE GAME!

As a Yankee fan, all I can say is what a gigantic loser and a disgrace to the game of baseball this guy is. I’m really sick of this clown and everything he does. Seriously, get Stephen Drew off the fucking field.

Take back Brett Hull’s non-goal in the ‘99 Stanley Cup Finals and see if the Sabres couldn’t pull that series out of the fire.

Those poor monkeys. I guess they'd know better than anyone else how fucked up Tennessee law is.

The most amazing thing about this Lancaster mascot fight is that the actual students don't seem to care one way or the other. The entire fight is being waged by middle-aged alumni who never left town. It's sort of sad watching then vigorously defending their decades-old high school nostalgia.

This is in contrast to joining the Angels, where you get three texts asking if you know where Josh Hamilton is.

♫ ♫ Celino and Barrrrnesss the injury attorneyssss, call 854-2020 ♫ ♫

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

you know what I find offensive? 18 year olds getting shot and prosecutors intentionally throwing the case

Readers deserve an explanation. This is the cereal discussion we had before Marchman went rogue.