“Also, I saw your grey comments, and am horrified and sorry I enabled you by responding”

You seem fun at parties

Somewhere, Matty Delladova sits by a phone waiting for it to ring, knowing that one day his services would once again be required by the go-

Punk rock doctor the one true choice

Everyone can have a good season. As I said, the fucking Colorado Rockies went to the world series in 2007.

A:”Also, feel free to share your team of choice, and talk about their accomplishments.”

It’s adorable you have one bright spot from twelve years ago and somehow you think this proves me wrong.

“And before you start typing all fast in the comments on your racist burner accounts, I SAID WHAT I SAID. His show needs to be canceled.”

Mmm, yes. Quite.

I hate you.

Take a star, damn it

Few things make me happier than a White Sox loss. Like the Browns, few teams allow me to chortle smugly about “well, at least my team of choice aren’t them.”

Thank you, bad sports franchises

Anyone who gets on the bad side of that inbred fuck Clay Travis is okay by me

“Outkick the Coverage”

Yep, I thought this was the type of mouth breather that would make up Clay Travis’ fanbase

“Dom? Dominos? I would like to place an order for a large supreme. I will carry out. Thx”

“Where is my pizza? Guess Kap sawks at delivering pizza just like football. I’m giving your place a bad rating on Yelp”

and in return, Fitzpatrick can learn the best way to get away with rape.

WOMEN AMIRITE?

I’m torn reading these letters. I want to laugh and cry at the same time, normally I have to be naked for this to happen.

I’m sure this will be well received. Football fan seem like the type of people who are totally respectful towards change and women, so how could this news go poorly at all?