Driving your Subaru Ascent into a horde of zombies is probably not going to end well, especially if the automatic brake feature kicks in. Instead, some old, American-made, steel-bodied beast would probably be my first choice. Maybe a square-body Suburban.

What?

And before you start typing “anyone can be falsely accused” remeber that Neil Gorsuch was equally hated by the left and didn’t get accused, Nor Did Roberts or Alito. Or Ted Cruz, or Mike Pence, or, or, or.

Thanks Beth, your article serves as journalistic lodestar to the rest of this nation.

You cannot weld Rust

Greetings fellow kids fit people! I too am ‘all about the fitness’.

Trust me, as a fellow fit person, everything is just a long con to be able to post pictures of yourself without a shirt on.

We were so young back then...

To be fair to Hirsch, he did this back in 2015, when we didn’t know it was wrong to choke a woman out at a party and never apologize for it. Is it fair to judge historical figures by present-day standards?

I love how the HOA announcement throws quotations around the word “reasonable.”

I think you missed the “bumblefuck south jersey aspect”. ‘Round these parts, we sleep on Tarva, not like you hifalutin Malm-sleepin’ cityfolk.

I say we do what we did with the crack epidemic: criminalize the fuck out of it and raise the penalties for getting caught with opioids to a mandatory 25 years....wait, it’s hurting mostly white people in the Midwest, shit, it’s a public health crisis then

MARIJUANA, YOU IGNORANT REPUBLICAN MOTHERFUCKERS!

Frankly, she looks more like an expert on the meth problem, but who am I to judge?

wow, Sarah Palin. WOW. (Where’d your left thigh go?)

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

unfortunately, my breasts are always on my mind (ouch gravity)

It really does show something about this guy that he immediately thought of his penis when he read the name of the column.