I went through a phase in the 1970's and '80's when I adored Paolo Soleri. I was inspired by his vision of mile-high architecture, surrounded by vast swaths of nature. Somewhere along the way, Soleri forgot to explain how these mega-structures were going to obtain their energy.

so is it lose-lose for whites then? (yes i know how that sounds).

I'm White. I consider myself a good person. I don't think I deserve a prize for it. But I'm sick of being told to shut the fuck up because of my privilege. My opinions and empathy mater as much as anyone else and it has nothing to do with the color of my skin, it is about being a human being.

The point seems to be that white people, even if they are "good" should "know their place" and stay there. Now where have I heard that before?

Your assumption here is a problem. You assume that the commenter is looking for a prize. They aren't. They are saying they don't need to apologize for sympathy and empathy which is offered without reward to all walks of life. That the automatic assumption (on your part, it would seem) that they are saying these…

Your essay makes me uncomfortable. I honestly don't know how to help or be an ally. I work with kids in the family court system, either through abuse/neglect or juvenile delinquency/incorrigability. I want to fight for these kids, the majority of whom are POC. How do we do that without becoming a "good white person"?…

I thought it was a wonderful piece, but I sincerely doubt that most good white people—or at least the good white people who run in my circles—believe that they "deserve a fucking prize." I think they're expressing empathy.

"Good white people" demonstrate the qualities that all good people demonstrate: kindness, empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness, unconditional love. These are the values I try to instill in my students; that parents try to instill in their children.

Those other parents are perverts. The chicken is obviously milking a cow. The udders and milk bag (is that what it's called? or is it a boobie?) are clearly drawn and readily identifiable. It is a very good illustration of a chicken helping a farmer with his/her chores and I love it. Also cows don't have penises, so…

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…