...the only thing that differentiated it from a regular Cordoba was a two-tone paint job.

“Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter!”

. . . And now I’ve just re-imagined every Yoda training scene from ESB as if, every time Yoda spoke about “The Force”, he was talking about a suppository.

Here’s one:

So, if Darth Vader had the thingie, then he knew about The Emperor’s Sith hideout with all the cloning technology and the floating cube and the hundreds of weird hooded followers. So shouldn’t his last words have been, “Luke, go to my house, get the map from my closet, and make sure that guy is really dead.”

It must be the first planet in Star Wars to have more than one biome. 

Ah, the fabled forests of Mustafar, the volcanic planet with literal rivers of lava. Makes perfect sense.

JJ’s apparent inability to understand how distance and scale works strikes again in this movie.

How does Ben get a classic TIE from the Endor moon to Exegol without a wayfinder or, more importantly, a damn hyperdrive?

It took the work of decades to build the Death Star. Where do these planet killing star destroyers…

THE. EWOKS. SANG. YUB. NUB! 

I was disappointed NOT to see Highlander listed!

This is a genocidal policy. Abolish ICE.

I get to write about video games for a living, have cheap rent (thanks Kansas!) but also have fast internet because I live near Kansas City.

“So why did you leave your last job?”

I just want a “continue watching” section.

SHUT UP AND SELL ME TANKHEAD MODEL KITS

Good luck with that, Benedict.

Song of The South may be super racist and idolizes the brutally exploitative plantation system, but at least it’s not directly advocating Imperialism and Genocide like Davy Crockett, King of The Wild Frontier.

I get it. This is much like Al Capone finally getting convicted for tax evasion. After all the crimes he committed, where everyone knew he did it, they got him on the only thing they could prove and it was a sliver of his real guilt. But they got him.

They most certainly have that right.

“Get me pictures of Batwoman!”