I got so fired up about the Eagles after reading this that I threw batteries all over my office.

He should try for the Vegas job. Roy is beloved in that town.

Everything you need to know about where this franchise is headed can be gleaned from the opening paragraph (THIS WAS THE FUCKING OPENING) of a profile of their owner.

That haircut is business in the back, Megan’s Law in the front.

I bet Riley Cooper had that ‘coon removed from the stadium.

“Typical. A little late tackling the O-ring problem.”

THE GUNSLINGER!!! SLINGING THIS ONE LIKE A PERSON WHO SLINGS GUNS!!!

which features Martellus saying that “NFL” stands for “Niggers For Lease”

“Worst quarterback in the NFL,” [Michael] says.

I don’t what the problem is with that

By no means am I excusing DeRozan’s behavior, but if you knew what Prince Nakawazele’s treasurer took him for, you’d want to punch the first Nigerian you met too.

“ acting unusual and making irrational statements.”

Wacky and El Señor Detestable on 590, The Sports Holocaust.