Because of probation, Alabama fans will be limited to 120 characters per tweet.

When he talks, his lips look a fish's.

I am positive his life would have been much better if he had gone by Larry.

Above The Lawl is my favorite George Simmons movie.

I am sure his parents had insurance on their basement.

@HugsFromHarold: That's why they won't let me take my hovercraft to the Grizzlies games. Damn you Jackie Chan!

I am glad Direct TV hired the cameramen from MTV Headbanger's Ball 1993.

I really need to know what the judge decides before my fantasty draft.

I'm reading that book As They See 'Em and what you guys don't get it is, their job is REALLY hard. That said, kill the ump.

WTF does James Andrews know, Dash? He works in Birmingham, Alabama.

I think Mike R retarded.

GAY

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: I'm waiting for the story in which AJ has a source that tells him Pujols used steroids. That would be so different from what this site used to do.

Indeed AJ, his upper lip appears to be Flaming.

Who obtained exclusivity to the James K. Polk hair sample cards?

I'm not sure that's a new or exciting way of awfulness. But it is funny.

Are you sure it wasn't the Zooperstar - Dennis Frogman? Because I heard he had an appearance scheduled with the Vermont Lake Monsters.

Oh, by "the best" you mean "your favorite." That's cool, the mug I gave my dad worked the same way.

Weren't the Haney Project and Big Breaks moderately successful? Oh right, sports, not golf.

Now we know what cured the Curse of the Bambino. LOADS AND LOADS OF STEROIDS.