At least the fans’ wrist shots were more accurate than the Flyers were.

Just buy a fucking PC already.

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

#GetLukeACharger

This game was friggin’ fantastic from start to finish.

I can assure you that pitch didn’t pass any ball. It hit flush.

Tire barriers give a loose tire a place to roll to.

and jeni’s! fuck, now i want jeni’s.

... especially in such desperate cultural wastelands football hotbeds as Columbus ...

This is still way less intense than Kane’s sleepovers, which involved a brief wrestling match before going to bed.