I was under the impression that we are how god plays video games.

I’m glad he found something to celebrate after going 3 for fucking 20 from the field

Is there any chance that the money is so big, in part, because Chelsea hopes that if he becomes any good he’ll bring with him a sizeable American fanbase/viewership?

I hope for Christian’s sake, Sarri can get him back on track. Because the Chelsea fan base is going to throw that transfer fee at him until he does. 

100% this..

Thanks for publishing these emails. As they say, sunlight is the best disinfectant, and it also prevent Ricketts.

And now we’re the aliens doing the probing!

I will drop$2 into the paypal account of anybody who will approve my Gizmodo comments. They always stay stuck in “pending approval” purgatory.  

I can’t imagine getting worked up enough to ever send an author of any deadspin article an email.

I push the automatic door buttons when there’s someone walking just far enough behind me that they fall into that weird range where you don’t know whether or not you need to hold the door for them. It’s a good way to be polite without having to look at the person.

a DEA agent on a cocaine bust

I sort of think SI has a point. There have been some pretty vocal critics of Brees over the years and I think it’s good to build a case for why those people should be alone on Mother’s day.

tbh fuckin’ in a car should be legal

Should’ve been you, Twitter.

“That’s a cool trick, Anna. But let me show you how to make a first round pick disappear.” -Vlade Divac

It’s only just starting to dawn on him that the only way he’ll get to play at Staples will be in a Clippers uniform. Once he fully realizes it, I expect him to become the next Zodiac killer.

I need this kind of tough love in my life.

Was wondering if you’d wend your way to that punchline, not disappointed. You’ve managed to twist the panties of at least one commenter, though, and for that you have earned a star!

How often do you want a book editted after you buy it? Can you decline these updates? This seems like a great avenue for historical revisionists.

Jellystone Park gets no love and I thought this was a bear-friendly blog smh