In this market, you have to move fast to capitalize on potential gains within cultural subsets. If you aren’t doing community-based targeting strategies, you’re losing out on potential gains in market share. I am dead inside, there is only market share.

That’s the last time they ever invite Tim over to watch the game.

How is he going to watch Yankees games now?!

I hate when these people start rioting and destroying their own neighborhoods...

That person’s vote counts as much as mine. Horrifying.

The worst part happened when he discovered that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t actually inside the TV.

I’ll be surprised if he makes it 6 months, honestly.

And he called BuzzFeed, who released the dossier in full, “a failing pile of garbage” who would “suffer the consequences.”

So we’re really gonna do this, huh? This is actually happening? And how do I know I’m not in a coma somewhere hallucinating all this?

It is so, so bad when Mike Pence is a better option.

Nothing witty, I just hope he fucking dies.

I went to Hungary over Thanksgiving and took a night cruise in Budapest on the Danube. Standing in line to get off a boat, the guy in front of me noticed my Bruins hat, and I noticed he had a Sox hat on, and his kids had Patriots hats.

We secretly laughed at and mocked the couple who had 2 kids by age 21. Now they are out having fun every weekend at age 43 while our little shits are still in middle school.

They couldn’t reach agreeement on Hume’s first principles of the contents of the mind.

He’s always had a soft spot for the bills.

What? The girls working the Tuesday afternoon shift don’t tip themselves

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

He used his “second chance” to tear up a parking citation he didn’t like and throw it in a woman’s face. So he’s really on this “third chance.”

My mom owns me online constantly.