“...Vili Fualaau, meanwhile, discusses his bouts with alcoholism, depression and why he believes the system failed him while he was still a minor.”

It's about ethics in cake decorating.

Well sure we can. Can she stop being on a show that polices how other people look?

Ari Shaffir is the same guy who said in his act that having cerebral palsy is like being "king of the retards." He's just straight up human garbage and he uses "edgy" tangents with no punchline to try to distract from the fact that he's just not funny.

no she didn't

"...remains devastated over her niece's death."

"She RUINED my wedding! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY SPECIAL DAY!"

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Kelly using the word "tranny"

Haha, exactly. Here's a funny excerpt from Cracked about her CELEBRITY journalist status:

I know I wrote this once before. But seriously, the only way that we can be free of them is to stop paying them any attention. Seriously. It's like the episode of The Simpsons where the ads came to life and started attacking Springfield. Just don't look. Although I think maybe we need a jingle from Linda Perry as…

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't own a gun, but I've heard of this thing called a "safety", which, when engaged, is supposed to keep a gun from firing inadvertently. Isn't that gun safety 101? Or was this lady so worried about a sudden attack that the time it would take to disengage the safety switch would have taken just too much time?

Okra is not a thing outside the south.

I love that Kelly got the 'Fuckin' section.

Stop persecuting me with your logic.

Lord, as I walked along the beach, I saw two pairs of footprints in the sand, and then I saw one. Why was that?

So does Paper Magazine regularly feature asses on their cover, because this image makes it twice in a row?

"Yeah, it took a horrible situation to wake me up, but I was deaf and blind to the truth"

amazed the cops didn't shoot the waitress.