Step 2: Look for job after being let go by Gawker

Jokes on you! Rio doesn’t have functioning, flushing toilets. They shit in the streets and in the ocean.

I must be strong

Did anyone count their hang time?

The ball, guys. Not the bucket.

I think from now on all my tweets are going to either have elements of inspirational/motivational language or deep foreboding- just in case I die suddenly

Usually I’m fine with making a tasteless joke on Deadspin no matter how tragic the story but this time I think I’ll pass.

These guys were way too eager to hit the coffin corner

But not the upside down part of the Southern Hemisphere.

You suck

The Australians are simply used to their toilet water draining the opposite way down the walls.

I learned to make roasted beer can chicken from an America’s Test Kitchen grilling book. They tested wine, water, beer, and lemonade in the beer can, and (I kind of remember) they said wine and beer were a little better.