So … Dan's not dead?

HUMP3 DUMP3: FALL FROM GRACE

Upvoted for making me feel less dumb

Commence production on the bean ballet!

Deadly Women is a show on Investigation Discovery that is a multifaceted insult to my intelligence – shoddy reenactments, hammy writing, medical experts who explain that getting hit with a firepoker is bad because it's made of solid metal – but damn if I can't stop watching it. Candace Delong, you have bewitched me.

#OscarsSoInLoveWithSoullessAdvertisementsAboutHowHollywoodIsMagical

It is not really that good. Even with the assistance of some Hollyweed.

When it comes to child abuse, Madea is no Medea.

Glaser can take me to the bone zone anytime

Lithgow should've burned down the set on his last day

I am a Faith No More fan and a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. I am not a Fox News fan or a music snobbery fan.

Goddamn does that Weakerthans song "Utilities" break my heart. This feels like a gentle dilution of that feeling, and I'm all for it

When the show debuted, I felt like a lot of the critics here – Larry was great but the whole think felt clunky. But after its first retooling, it quickly became my favorite show in late night. They pared down the panel to one special guest, Mike Yard and Holly Walker became MVPs and Larry's monologues about horrible…

"Only a fool would believe that I'm THAT Michael McDonald."
-Michael McDonald

I did not love Michael McDonald's Stuart.

HANG DAI

"Speak softly, and carry a big motherfucking gun."

Was so impressed seeing him play that goofball dad on Raising Hope after scaring my pants off as Mr. W. He pulled a reverse Walter White.

Alex, you just told us something pretty.

I saw one of those small club aftershows in 2001. Couple hundred people in the place, him and his band (incl Maceo Parker) crammed on a small corner stage. They played for two hours, including an extended jam of Sly's "Sing a Simple Song" that was joy incarnate. I am still floored by his generosity.