Do you really want 90’s Teal back?

“Post a killer satellite...” I’m not sure you understand how this whole ‘orbit’ thing works.

Notice how much simpler and cleaner this is compared to gull wings.

Sunlight. Right in your face. All the time. From every angle.

Look at the 90’s model Ford Thunderbirds, cars with V8 engines in the front, and they were practically grille-less, with less total intake area than a book cover. Giant honking grilles is a distinctly 2000s problem. Good on Tesla for bucking the trend, but it never needed to be a trend in the first place.

This is the most cockamamie piece of machinery I’ve ever seen on Jalopnik. Why in the world would you build a drivetrain like this when you could just run a hydraulic line to the front wheel?

It is a universal truth that if you ride a motorcycle, you will fall over and get hurt. Maybe not badly, maybe not many times, maybe not even your fault (just kidding, it will be), but it will happen and it will be painful every single time. And so long as that is the case, the vast majority of people will happily go…

What the hell are these swinging sidewalls for? You’re going to close the lid anyway, so it’s not like they hold anything in, and they look like they’ll easily get caught on anything you put in there.

Honestly, I’d rather have this one. It’s got so much more character than a yacht, and probably cheaper to boot.

A column shifter! My god, they still exist!

This thing has enough front end components for three trucks.

For shame Torch! No Pope-Miata?

I am awaited in Val Hal- uh, Heaven! Yeah, definitely Heaven!

“Would you like to see the Pope on the end of a rope?” Black Sabbath’s lawyers will be around any time now.

This looked like just a crappy trike conversion until this picture. Like Icarus before him, this man flew too close to the sun but my god what a spectacle. I wouldn’t take this thing for free, yet I’m glad something this insane exists in the world.

Fred Upton (R-MI) was a major driver of Michigan state legislation that allowed the governor to force Benton Harbor to sell its public parks to a real estate developer. If that man is in charge of investigating Volkswagen, I wouldn’t be surprised if Upton found a reason for the government to pay VW $18 billion instead

“Indeed, Austin Powers came out in 1997, so it would still be fresh in their minds. You do feel old reading that.”

My mother owned a 90’s Honda Acura that had a “See Dealer For Service” indicator in addition to a Check Engine light. When it went off, she did what it said and took it to the dealership. The mechanic told her the door weather-sealing needed to be replaced.

Agreed, I’m surprised he doesn’t get mentioned more here. Yunick was the most Jalop mechanic in history.

Another Smokey Yunick legend: the Reverse Torque Special.