You're going to wish you were killed in a freak pheasant hunting accident when you read the words "Vikings sign QB Matt Cassel to multi-year extension."

As a Chicagoan who has to deal with a ton of Packer fans who smarmily squeeze their cheesy farts into their hands and try to throw it in my face say this....GOOD! I hope they have to endure the same QB carousel that has plagued the Bears for the past 20 years.

We both know that wasn't a typo. But it's cool. I used to always screw up dessert / desert too, until one of my kids had a fourth grade teacher that explained it to him as "You always want second "s" of dessert". But yeah, I'm probably a taint for pointing it out.

Wouldn't there be like, cacti and scorpions in a desert gift basket?

You're so 2012, Cote d'Ivoire is all the rage in rap, Niger is trending down.

pfff... as if you BUY consonants

To some people here , EVERYTHING does.

Blaine Gabbert was probably involved. What a tosser.

"listen..i need another embarrassing loss like i need a hole in the head"

"Oh yeah, daddy, stuff that hole."

Yeah never mind that Merriweather was STABBED by his fiance and she was charged for it. Sick of this archaic "you can't hit women" bullshit. 40% of domestic violence are STARTED by women. Sorry(ok not really) I have NO ISSUE with hitting a woman if it is in self-defense. ANYONE who attacks me I will do what it takes…

So, is Deadspin purposefully trying to destroy football, so that it can do Banksy stories all the time like Gawker does?

That Blake Griffin can do it all.

He had to see this coming. Rittman's read-option has been backfiring all year apparently.

Another question the survey was hammered for: "Who is least likely to file for bankruptcy within 5 years of retiring?".

"Which player makes the most of limited natural ability?"

Yinzer Justice.

Due to massive confusion, Pete Carroll dropped Russell Wilson's nickname, "Golden Taint."

This game sucks ass.