Man. Between this and Sochi, the IOC must really hate fags.

You don't know what a foreground is, do you?

This joke only made it about 3/5 of the way there.

♫ Ground Control to Major Frog

"If there was such a thing as a 102 percent, this would be it."

As we always said at Rice, our autographs will be on Aggie's paychecks.

Kid's a dick

I've never seen you post an intelligent comment, and this is no exception. Should've just stuck to the snake joke.

Mark Sanchez, though, continues his strong relationship with Tiger Beat readers.

Who, by the way, I couldn’t pick out of a lineup

False. This girl was not related to any of those players.

Smoot is going to have to tell us exactly what he calls the act of double-donging two hookers

What are "other things overheard at Kenny Chesney concerts?"

Kevin Bacon?

My buddy has a 92 Fox bodied Mustang with a 4 banger and a 5 speed. He is presently in the process of switching it to a turbo four with the requisite parts donated from a Thunderbird Turbo Coupe which I think will only exacerbate the conditions listed in the text above. I sense a disturbance in the force.

Did you eat someone's ass out before you tasted these? This list is an utter travesty.

Oh good Lord, the cup has been sullied.

Man: "Hey, it's Scottie Pippen! I should politely ask him for an autograph after dessert."

Finally, an app that tells me how to sexually stimulate Russian nesting dolls.