"Somebody say bend?"

D.C. Bro's hobbies should include more league activities. Softball, bocce, beer pong, horseshoes — D.C. Bro is already registered in advance for all of the fun his summer can handle, and he helped design the tshirt. Isn't this a hilarious tshirt? Do you even kickball, bro?

I'm not saying good or bad. Just that it's jumped.

The police should have realized that the beanbag is the natural ally of the college stoner.

This is Lifehacker, dude — rarely are the stories about how to survive in the third world.

So you mean that the 2nd layer of satire was a bridge too far?

Nothing said will real in the tempered hatred of the Internet children.

I think you're taking it just a little too seriously.

Yes. Just as every other parent does too. Get over yourself.

You mean, for example, "Fedora: acceptable to be worn between the early 1920s through the early 1950s. Wearing this article outside of this time period identifies you as a pretentious douche."

Which is crazy given that Tracy Morgan is expecting.

Satanic Cult?

Relevant:

Did the fact its from the Onion tip you off?

When you say "NSFW" does that mean if I'm in my office with the door shut its ok to watch?

No one said he sold drugs! Just that he might be buying a military-grade machine gun in the parking lot.

Dude, just because he's black doesn't mean he sells drugs for a living, get a grip racist.

Sam Sr, pictured here, unable to finish his Birthday Slam.

Im surprised this wasn't mentioned in the article.

A good GIF-making tool on Mac is GIFBrewery, FYI.