In Jones' defense, the man's last name is Theyard.

Two stories involving a gross man and beer in one day!

The timeshares at Jonestown look beautiful.

If he's anything like his dad, he's probably good enough to make the practice team today. Lord knows, the Vikings could use a second stringer after what happened to Korey.

Peterson: Okay, you see the seams on the ball? If you want to be a good quarterback, you want to line your fingers up with them and throw the ball far while also keeping the ball from getting too wobbly in the air. It's tough since the ball is so big, but a tight spiral is key. Now...

not so fast judging this guy..John Kerry stands to make a fortune with a Heinz vegetable at his side.

"I don't think anyone will be listening to records by 2017."

The last time A-Rod was seen spitting his seed at a dog was during his stint with Madonna.

if anything says 'sorry, I cheated' it's a a weiner.

what a coincidence, it looks like the attendees had also been dead for a combined 226 years.

Police promptly arrested Scheppers' eye.

Someone threw a beer at him. Someone else told him to "GET THE FUCK OUT." He left. It's on video.

Sorry, but as a fan I feel like there's no real comparison there. If you told me "Joe mauer will get killed tomorrow but the Twins will become a national brand and win 17 Championships" I'd pull the trigger myself.

Pictured: The man formerly known as the Tallinn Stallion.

The worst part for the bear was that he didn't get to break out his signature pickup line, 'hey baby, what's ursine?'

Not unusual. I've got liver damage I blame on Sandals.

Serious question - does Vince get to keep his house? I would really hate to see that happen, especially since Young has never been a big for-clothes guy.

De La Rosa: Say hello to my little friend!

How much does it pay to be a pet monkey?

Personally, I think it's all part of Firestone's vendetta against any player who ever had a good year.