get outta here with your extra vowels. labor day is about BOGO sales at the mall, grilled meats, and the last visit to the pool before they close for the season. pfft. this ‘Murica!

I have no plans this weekend, so I’ll probably just go down to the local bar for a few drinks and hold them up at gunpoint until they put on Carol.

I’m gonna watch Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo. Like, a lot. Turbo dances on the goddamm ceiling. There will be Nutter Butters and blankets and I have a couple leftover hydrochodone’s. So, see you on the hib jib.

Get on Netflix and watch “Easy Living,” a wonderful, understated Finnish crime series. After around 3 episodes, you’ll be hooked and you will binge all 30 episodes (3 seasons), breaking only for bathroom breaks and snacks.

CAROL! It’s BACK! Hahahahahahaha oh Bobby, you little scoundrel.

My husband right now. *all the high fives*

This is terrible and I definitely cackled.

I agree. Its exhausting. I can only think it’s easier to look into her history because it’s all been public, and looking into Trump’s sordid and manipulated existence is too hard. We should hear every day about his connections in Russia, and with mob ties in NYC, and his hiring of immigrants, and fucking people over…

This breathless coverage of the minutiae of Clinton’s daily schedule as Secretary of State, lunch habits as NY Senator, trips to the bathroom during debates, etc., is increasingly bizarre and demonstrative only of a media that are utterly invested in false equivalencies and a “horserace,” no matter the facts.

If anyone ever invents a Kanye sex-robot, Kanye will leave Kim. Just remember, I called it.

See, i’m more of a stools gal myself. Chairs are for fools! Everybody wants stools!

Same. But “Trump’s Razor” probably applies here: He just likes the song and hasn’t given a thought to the message he’s sending with it.

CORKY:

OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE CORKY HE’S THERE HE’S THERE RIGHT IN THE AUDIENCE

HOW did I not know about this?!

The best monologue EVER: