So, Alabama is going to be ranked 1-4.

GO HAWKEYES!!!!

what can I do to put you in this cream puff today? What kind of monthly payment were you looking at?

The technology needs to be fine-tuned so it shuts off for a single-vehicle accident.

“It’s the weekend”....Check calendar...solidly Friday.

Sounds about right for Wallstreet guys....

Your last sentence, yes! Now, be prepared for the hate that is sure to follow.

Maybe they’re looking for something more grounded to the ground?

Aw! +1 follicle.

BREAKING: Paul Ryan announces plan to set Pi to its biblical value of 3.0.

Why would I tell you that? If you were a True Cheers Fan you’d know!

Just knowing that the Pi can be counted to more than 3 decimals makes anyone smarter than 85% of the GOP.

My hair question was more like “Where are those!”

You wrote the wrong article. How did none of them know the grear barrier reef?

If someone can tell me how to get my household car insurance down to $60/month (without leaving me with bare bone coverage), internet to $30/month, and student loans to $0/month I’ll pass some of the savings on to you.

Who is giving 10% of their monthly income to a make believe sky fairy (tithe)? Are these people insane?

Though I think zee Germans do it best.

But if the election went the other way, would Patrick’s statement been the same?

- just do so with the abject horror of half the country

Better post this cat pic to Facebook real quick annnnnnnnnnnd I hit a pylon.