hmmm... Yeah... We weren’t playing the Astros.... Checks calendar... Oh you mean last year when you lost to the Astros in 4 games? Well your story checks out, you are indeed a dumb Red Sox fan.

This take sucks and I’m on Peter Thiel’s side now. 

Also he traveled and failed to maintain control of the ball when he hit the ground and his bat clearly crossed the plate.

Pictured: Direct TV versus Basic Cable Sam Darnold.

So this must be the fashion version of justifying the Alex Smith contract.

King: It’s Zizouuu! Aaahhh!!
JR: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! What’s he doing here? He’s supposed to be in Spain!
Zidane sprints to the ring, steel chair in hand
JR: Zidane, through hellfire and brimstone, has returned! And—
Zidane lays Mourinho out with the chair
JR: MY GOD! The steel chair to Mourinho’s chest. I swear that’ll…

“Tell me more about this game of, how you say, golf.”

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

Saw someone on Twitter last night saying he’s basically “tech-bro Lavar Ball” and I can’t think of a more apt description.

I think it’s great! I’m glad the refs didn’t take issue with a young All-Star getting his game on and get him fed to the rules when he hit the ground running. Yes, he’s looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. But the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, so it…

there’s a big difference between “regular person living in L.A.” and “snarky Kinja commentator slobbering out a tedious cliche about a place he doesn’t live but millions happily do”, too.

Kudos to whoever edited out the other 8000 plus words.

I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that it all started going downhill for Boston when Lauren Theisen referred to them as the ‘Tics.

To Barry’s credit, this is by far the worst season in the history of the franchise, so he was at least right about that.

Bartolo Colon nearly ruined his career with fork knife but he returned bigger and better than ever.

Also, people should always take Burneko’s takes with a grain of salt after he declared that Amy Whinehouse is on par with the Stones and Zeppelin (let alone the 60s black soul and R&B artists she lifted her entire shtick from).

I know I’m at least a day late to this but I cannot let this list go unchallenged. The correct Top 5 Stones songs are:

How did you know to use past tense? :( :( :(