Wow. Who would have thought that the lifelong partisan hack Trump put in place specifically to handle the Mueller report handled it in a way that was blindingly partisan and beneficial to the Republican party? I mean, guys, this is a real shocker. Nobody could have seen this coming! Except literally anyone blessed…

We didn’t learn anything from the Muller report is because we’ve never seen the Mueller report.  

So release them. If there’s nothing in them, release them.

Are you kidding? That’d have to be a net-positive, right?

Governor Ivey said in a statement that she is working with the DOJ “to ensure that our mutual concerns are addressed,” to make sure “this Alabama problem has an Alabama solution.”

“‘I wish I could say it’s surprising but it’s not,’ Republican State Senator Cam Ward...”

How many of these influencers’ followers could afford to stay at luxury resorts, anyway?  Advertising’s only good if people can buy what you’re selling.  

When it comes to field-level crowd control at major events, there’s no security better than 66 y/o paraplegics

Are you insinuating that our nation’s fine law enforcement would frame a black man for a crime he didn’t commit? Not in my America!

The only real union thugs in America are the cops.

I’m saying all that other stuff. 

Donald Trump didn’t want to take out a full page ad calling to send the Central Park Five to the gas chamber.  But he felt he owed it to them.

Thank god Trump wasn’t wearing a tan suit.

I can get that a golfer would improve their lie by putting the ball in to the fairway, away from an obstacle, taking a gimmee, etc. If you aren’t playing for money then who really cares.

For any person that defends Donald Trump the man, I hope your child someday brings home a person that shares exactly all of his virtue.

I don’t know, I keep trying to imagine Trump eating a piece of fruit, and it’s just not happening.

There are some attractive beer logos I could live with. Coronado’s is basically a classic tattoo already.

A scorpion asks a frog to carry him over a river.

To be honest, I’m not sure if the one about windmills is worse than this one. It’s just a complete rejection of the reality surrounding him.

Damn, this sounds like a National Emergency! If only there were several billion dollars just needlessly being thrown around.