Don’t be crazy; nothing exists unless it has been ‘grammed. That’s why I can’t attend a concert without viewing the stage through the phone of the asshole in front of me.

since when are titties legal on youtube?

That was the first time that I’ve heard Zion speak outside the basketball court and it was surprisingly different than what I was expecting. Kinda like how he plays basketball

What surprises me is that Game Night only came out this year, I feel like it’s older. I saw it on a long-haul flight several months ago, so the airline must’ve acquired it while it was still in theaters, which is unusual.

All these negative reviews seem like retroactive guilt over praising The Big Short, which was also glib and superficial.

I still can’t get over that hilariously overwrought shoot-out in season two.

History teacher here:

Did you miss the part where they talked about Meyer having a cyst on his brain which causes him blinding migraines if his blood pressure elevates even slightly?

The “Sacramento Vortices of Entropy” is a better name than "Sacramento Kings". It only loses to my two-way-tied favorites, "Sacramento Queefs" and "Excremento Kings" 

“A computer does your job now! Go directly to jail.”

So long as they don’t act on that belief to the detriment of another, who cares what they believe?  

Giannis is the gyro we need right now.

That’s 50% of the joke I was making. Look up the term “paraprosdokian.”

he looks like every actor ever cast to yell random things in an Adam Sandler movie

Simple reason, all the networks have dropped it from their coverage.

I can’t load the comments on here or any Kinja site when I use Firefox. That’s no fun!

Shouldn’t there be some kind of rule that if a guy belonged to a frat, he by definition shouldn’t be in any position of power?

Well, now I know what they were doing before they began referring to themselves as incels.