Excellent mask idea!

A good lawyer should be able to plea them down to a manslaughter of crows.

You mean your cawr.

I mean, this article is pure gold. I was delighted at the beginning and only got progressively more impressed. By the line “I’m going with scraps of meat because I like crows who are bloodthirsty.”, my hysterical laughing started making me question my own morality and motives. A++ 

Obscure French weightlifter who also solved crimes, but not terribly well.

Throw rocks at them. Call their mothers pigeons. Tell them you’re glad Brandon Lee died.

Crows are wonderful. We had two different crows (in different states) befriend the family (my mother is a bird lover and feeds them all - or did). The story about the neighbor resonates. The crown in Indiana that loved my mom would holler, LOUDLY, when the next door neighbor visited. Territorial issues were suspected…

This is truly amazing. More content like this from Lifehacker plz!

Now this is the kind of quality article I expect from Life Hacker.

Top quality witchcraft, this is.

This is a picture of two ravens, not two crows! You can tell because their beaks have feathers at the top and are more curved like a hook in front.

Son of Zeus, Child of Agatha Christie, the demi-god we need.

Brilliant!

Was this article written specifically FOR me? Or BY me?

While you were partying, I studied the CAWWW!

Crows were white until they were cursed by the god Apollo. Apparently they also had very sweet voices and the harsh-sounding caw was part of the curse.

my path to turning into an IRL wizard is becoming clearer and clearer.

That story had no business being as good as it was. You’ve earned a fan, good sir.