If you never have anything good to say about anybody, then come talk to me because you and I are going to have a fun time together.

Agreed. Usually the bodyguard has a room nearby- but not in- their client’s room. It looks like this happened in the middle of the night, so I would guess he was sleeping, just like she probably was.

Or offer to share? Rude.

It might be related. Sometimes coke is cut with baby laxatives.

I had some woman tell me she dropped her sunglasses in the toilet. I had to fish them out of her poop. I double gloved. I left early b/c I felt I deserved it and no matter how much I washed my hands, did not feel clean enough to handle people’s food.

Holy shit... HOW DID YOU GUESS?

Movie theater. “Family Toilet” (you know, the big single rooms with handicap and child diaper change facilities. Door unlocked, so I went in. A couple were having sex, her propped up on the sink, and he was just in the process of pouring about 1/2 cup of popcorn butter onto her head.

Pride

My husband saw a homeless man preparing a crab for dinner in a restroom at Fisherman’s Warf. Another man told the first that he was eating like a king that night. Hubby left the bathroom and announced that it was time to leave.

I don’t wanted to be disrespectful of the dead but one time I happened to glance at the feet of the woman in the stall next to me (it was shoe thang. I just can’t help myself) Anyway these feet were in flip flops. They were crusted with spray on tanner, the nails were so long they curled over onto the floor and they…

I was at JFK airport peeing in a stall when a Middle-Eastern woman in a burka swung open the faulty door. She saw me and screamed like she had just seen Manson in my vagina. When I came out to wash my hands she glanced in my direction, eyebrows furrowed, utterly scarred by what she had witnessed. Trying to calm the…

Honestly the timing of this isn’t just spooky.

My family’s from the impenetrable countrysides of China (to this day my Father still cannot point out exactly where he’s from on a map, it’s so remote). So I’ve shat in a lot of open air latrines, it’s a lot of two meter deep pits where you are squatting on two planks of not all that steady wood (another choice is…

Not disturbing, just odd.

I don’t know if this really counts as “public” but when I was in the Navy, the aircraft carrier I was on made a port call in Karachi, Pakistan. We had been out to see for something like 45 days, and everyone was a bit stir crazy. On the way in, as they usually do, the public relations department made repeated…

In a KFC bathroom, at around 8 or 9 in the evening circa 1992, I entered a men’s room out of sheer bladder desperation because the women’s room was out of order. I opened the door and after recovering from the stench that flew out of the newly cracked door like sins from Pandora’s Box, I saw the the phrase “Why?” and…

Had to pee as soon as I got off the train. And, this shit literally happened this week. Someone decided to dye their hair bright red using the TOILET in Penn Station NYC. Ok, fine. Except that they did a sloppy job, and it looked like a scene out of “Dexter.” “Blood” splatter on the floor, walls, toilet, etc. It…

Working maintenance for state parks, I saw some shit (literally.) One time, a toilet was clogged so bad that we had to call in a plumber, who couldn’t come until the next AM. We covered the toilet with cardboard, taped it down, locked the door of the stall from the inside, then climbed over the door and put a large…

This has to be a lie, because your corpse wasn’t discovered in a burning wood-paneled station wagon in northern California.

At summer camp when I was 7 or so, I saw a pile of pea-green turds on the floor right next to the toilet. They were there for at least three days.