this is something my dad would fucking do.

I'm really feeling the one from 1985. I have no shame! NO SHAME! None!

And yet, Chess has separate gender leagues.

Seriously? Vanderbilt wins the College World Series and gets no mention on Deadspin, but some guy's dick gets an entire story?

In other words, they're just jelly.

I want to go to there.

Wahhhhhhhh - oh. Oops. Having been at Pride all day, I completely misinterpreted the meaning of your title.

"Single Ladies" as a dramatic monologue. Must. Happen.

My favorite thing about this story is that the picture was posted to a page about breastfeeding. So, people had to go out of their way to a breastfeeding page to be offended by a picture of a woman breastfeeding her baby. That would be like subscribing to Playboy and then getting all pearl-clutchy about all the…

Yo, I did this EASILY as a 9 year old. Just time your "1"-button right and hold "2" and 5". I was a GOD.

I'm confused about the whole "up to God" thing, then. If you are taking medical measures to optimize or increase your fertility, how is that at all different from taking birth control, in terms of meddling with "God's plan?" You're taking measures into your own hands for both. It's the exact opposite of birth control,…

"An anonymous dude is very upset that, after he maneuvered his "big girl" girlfriend into an open relationship so he could score with mad babes, she's getting loads more dates than him."

This came up in a google result for sassy otter. Happy Wednesday, Burt!

Funny your Instagram's the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving.

Nope, just reporting this odd "sexual investigation" as the MIA police have called it. Not adding any more words because there haven't been any formal charges from the unnamed woman. Just the facts.

2 hula hoops: $4.38