“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

Fine, you are obsessed with people that are obsessed by Brady.

Man, you guys are obsessed with Brady

Every county in Massachusetts went for Clinton. Every New England state went to Clinton (except one electoral vote in Maine because of archaic voting laws).

Uppers, downer, quackers. This kid has done them all.

“Mother and Child Reunion.” An involuntary shudder wracks you now, if you have any soul.

I want to have that butt.

Why not both.

Nope.

BP pitcher, fuck ruining your knees without making tens or hundreds of millions of dollars over your career.

Atlanta Braves closer has to be pretty high on the list.

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

Wedding is one thing, but you really need to try and synchronize child-bearing with your friends. I was among the first of my pals to get married, and had my kid a solid 5+ years before the next guy took the plunge.

My mother-in-law drinks vodka and soda with oranges. And she brings a sealed container of orange slices with her whenever we go out in case “the bar doesn’t have any good ones”. That’s basically the embodiment of Minnesota.