This is yet another reminder that having a child does not suddenly make you an expert on literally anything, and that the act of birth is something that literally billions upon billions of people around the world, both very smart and incredibly fucking dumb, have done throughout millenia.

Just so you know the way you look at it is factually incorrect. They work for the teams.

Isn’t there a bit of an onus on the fans not to blindly expect every player to play every night?

Agreed. No grown man should be dabbing. At least not in public.

This is not okay.

Thank you for reminding me of that clip in Genesis’s “Land of Confusion” video where the Spitting Image Reagan doll can’t tell the difference between the nuke button and the nurse button.

Came here for a post on actual dogs... I’m disappoint. Amy will agree with me.

Beast slowed

So does the state of New York. And you’re never going to get 80% of New Yorkers to the polls on any Election Day.

Please retweet.

Here we go.

I also spent 9 hours at work today and walked away without an NFL contract but you don’t see me bragging about it.

The fact that antebellum debutante Lindsey Graham might be all that stands between us and this lunacy is a truly terrifying thought.

It’s used as an excuse to imprison black and brown and poor people to extract cheap labor from them. It’s not about public safety and never was.

He’s the modern Rodman. Little less defense, much better offense. If he didn’t help you win, you’d never put up with this shit.

He’s a better Joakim Noah

It’s an NBA-style move that’s drawing comparisons to what Sam Hinkie did with The Process in Philadelphia.

He actually bottoms from the top, because of his social conscience.

You just know he showers once a week and smells of sweat and patchouli oil, so my answer is yes, I’d bang the shit out of him. But in your bed.

This gif has been generally overused, but this is my EXACT reaction when I saw the video of Carson on Twitter today: