I swear to God, I’ll pistol whip the next guy that says “shenanigans!”

I used to work for a large hotel/casino in the audit department. About a year before I started working there, a dealer was arrested for palming a $100 chip every shift for several years. The pit boss, surveillance, and accounting all failed to notice. Her theft was discovered when she tried to buy a very nice house…

MCU Universe? What’s next, PIN Numbers and ATM Machines?

“he couldn’t breath for a few seconds”

My middle school gym teacher was such a complete ankle to everyone who wasn’t athletically gifted at indoor soccer, basketball, and running, I actively hunted down a means of escape. Turns out that if you were doing 10 hours or more each week of sports outside school, you could get a waiver and use gym time as a study…

“Your sister Mary is the smart one, so you have to get a job for her to got to college.” Even as an 8 year old only child I thought that was a shitty thing to constantly tell one of your kids.

Can I just say how much it makes me laugh she’s pretending to answer phones on a broking desk at BGC? I know I’m probably the only one here who is amused by it, but I’m ok with that.

*breathe

Tinsel is an abomination.

Does she sleep by hanging upside down from the rafters so it doesn’t get dented?

Uh, they do NOT look amused by the song.  They’re paying attention because she’s the boss and for no other reason.

I work in an office where people gleefully crop dust one another.  But even these troglodytes wouldn’t fart on someone’s face.

My ex had a cabbage patch doll as a kid, but before his mom gave it to him she took it to a lady down the street who stitched on genitals. Because she was convinced giving her son a boy doll without boy parts would confuse him.

Several years ago a friend and I went to Myanmar over Christmas. You could get a small plastic grocery bag stuffed with them for just a couple dollars, and they were tiny little clementines. Like some of them were the size of a ping pong ball. We’d peel it and eat the whole thing in one bite. We came back from that…

I had to pause the video to count, but anyone else see A DOZEN BRIDESMAIDS?!?

I generally dislike having the toilet lid open at all when it’s not in use.  Close the damn thing.  Stops me from accidentally dropping something in there, limits airborne particles.  Just put the stupid lid down.

I laid in to my boss for saying he had to “babysit” one evening.  It’s your kid, therefore it’s called parenting.  Quit being a lazy-ass.

I work in this industry.

They do this already in countries where people don’t typically have cars - hello, crowded Asian cities! It makes sense for a major metropolis like New York to do the same.

He does have kids, so it’s probably habit to say something like “do you need to poopoo?” instead of shouting “hey kid, you need to go for a massive shit?”