If Carolina wins, we may be drowned by the suffocating number of hot (and thinly veiled racist) takes contrasting old school Peyton Manning and the brash Cam Newton.

Ah, that critical moment each season that lets us know what flavor of insufferable Patriots fans will be for the next nine months: smugly insufferable in victory or petulantly insufferable in defeat.

Reached for comment, the Pats’ head of IT referred to his contract, explaining that “screw with the visiting team’s electronics” is very clear, and if the team only meant for games played at Gillette, they should put it in writing.

Don’t blame Microsoft. It’s not their fault the tablets are full of spyware.