live

The dreaded birthday dinner. I’m done with showing up at a fancy-ish place during their busiest shift of the week and waiting for a table for 12 (Or is it 14? Did Beth say she was coming or not? And I’m not sure when Brendan’s flight gets in, I think his phone is off???) only to get split into two tables for 5 and 7…

Filed to: CLITBAIT

Yo fuck this guy. Between the shushing and the listen-to-mes and the FORCIBLE CHIN GRAB/HEAD TURN, this dude is a dillhole.

*jazz hands* Showstoppaaahhhh

*jazz hands* Showstoppaaahhhh

*jazz hands* Showstoppaaahhhh

I feel like the entreaty to break out the, quote, "big, big, big, big, big, big balloons" may in fact be a reference to condoms? #cautiousoptimism

King Khan discovered this years ago!